When the Kids Beg...
Written by: Tracy Vogel, Staff Writer @ Vetcentric.com

Your son comes home one day, babbling non-stop about his friend's new dog.

Your daughter grabs your hand as you walk through the mall, pulling you toward the pet store window, where a group of kittens pounce on each other, rolling over the floor of the cage.

Or, even worse, there's the moment when they show up with a neighborhood stray -- its tail wagging, or its purr reverberating -- and, faces alight with hope and anticipation, they voice those dreaded words: "Can we keep him?"

You don't want to be the person to douse that shine in your child's eyes. But you know it isn't a decision you can make lightly.

"They would like to have an entire menagerie," said Brian Hickman of Riva, Md.

He and his wife listed off the pets their sons, 10-year-old Nick and 10-year-old Joey, have asked for. Lizards, hamsters, guinea pigs, ferrets, snakes, birds ...

"So we're compromising, with fish," Mr. Hickman said.

The Hickmans also have a dog -- a decision they made awhile ago. The parents knew a dog would eventually be part of the household. The only question was when.

They made the final choice after Nick, then five, attended an Easter egg hunt and decided to take the pet rabbit home. Problem -- the rabbit belonged to the neighbors. Cue heart-wringing five-year-old upsettedness.

"After he had the meltdown about the bunny, we decided it was time to get a dog," Mr. Hickman said.

The Hickmans considered the dog a family pet -- which is the way to go, animal professionals said. When your child wants a pet, the first thing you need to think about is whether you want a pet.

"It's vitally important that the parents realize that they're not just getting this pet for the kids," said Nancy Peterson, companion animals specialist for the Humane Society of the United States. "The child will lose interest, hit puberty, go off to college. The adult should want to have this pet."

In fact, it's pretty naive to expect the child will be pet's first source for care, said Dr. Julie Dinnage, director of shelter animal health for the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "It's not like the child wants a bike," she said.

"I've had parent clients express some level of disgust -- æThey promised me they were going to take care of it but they didn't,'" she said. "And I look at the parent and go, well, who wasn't being realistic here."

When a parent is confronted by a request for a pet, another important question is the child's motivation.

Parents should have a talk with the child about the desire for a pet, said Dr. Alan Entin, a clinical psychologist and past president of the division of family psychology for the American Psychological Association. After all, your daughter could just want a dog to be like her new best friend, who has a German shepherd.

Ask the children questions such as what kind of pet they want, where they got the idea, how long they've had the idea, and what the reasons are for choosing the pet they want, Dr. Entin said.

Once parents have an understanding of the child's motivation, they need to think about their own reasons for getting a pet. Is it companionship for the child? To teach the child responsibility? To allow the child to feel the bond between human and animal?

The best reason is wanting to give an animal a good home, Dr. Dinnage said. But usually the decision is based on a combination of factors. Responsibility comes up a lot.

"That's great, but at some point the child is going to be learning by the example of the parent, not because the child is forced to do all the work," she said.

When 18-year-old Sally Mumper brought home a Jack Russell terrier, Spot, her family ended up taking care of it. Ms. Mumper had to move out of state -- and although she wants Spot, she can't keep him where she's staying.

But Jim and Linda Mumper didn't adopt all the responsibility.

"We made her responsible for all the bills," Linda Mumper said. "She was pretty shocked at how much a vet bill is. It's a lot more than thinking they're cute. You've got to take care of them."

Their son, Jimmy, 12, is responsible for the dog as well. "I have to walk him sometimes when I don't want to," he said. "I'll be watching TV and they'll say, æGo walk Spot.'"

His mother smiled at him. "It's not as great as it's cracked up to be, is it?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Uh-uh." Then he added, "But we're getting attached to it."

Once you decide the family should have a pet, it's time to decide which pet to get. You need to make that decision the way you would make any major decision -- examine your lifestyle, and decide what kind of animal best fits into it.

First consider the age of the child -- most recommend that you not bring a pet into a household with a child younger than three or four.

A child won't understand that the pet is more than a toy, that it experiences pain. So pulling on the cat's tail and grabbing at the dog is going to be common.

"A child should be out of diapers before you get a dog," said Dr. Lawrence Gerson, president of the Pennsylvania Veterinary Medical Association.

So sometimes it's best that your child's first pet is something along the lines of fish. "I got fish for my son, and it was never a problem to put him to bed," Dr. Gerson recalled. "They're very soothing. He would be asleep in 30 seconds."

Keep in mind that you'll have to clean the tank and check that the feeding schedule gets followed.

Then there are the smaller animals, or "pocket pets." They live for shorter periods of time, require less care than a cat or dog, and have the warm appeal lacking in, say, your typical algae-eater.

Of those, rabbits can be a good choice, Dr. Dinnage said. They can be litter-trained, and require less care than some of the others.

Dr. Gerson also recommends guinea pigs -- they're bigger, a little less likely to bite, and they're sturdier than animals like hamsters or gerbils. Sturdier means the animal will be able to deal with a child's clumsiness better, if an accident should occur.

"These are little animals, and if they're dropped or handled roughly, that's not a good thing," Ms. Peterson said. "The child would always have to be supervised."

Some of the smaller animals are also nocturnal -- so that might not be much fun for a child that wants to see the pet scampering around during the day.

Keep in mind that a small animal, while fairly inexpensive, will end up costing you more in the long run.

"If the hamster gets sick, you're going to end up paying a lot more for this pet," Ms. Peterson said. "You wouldn't be sending such a good message to the child û æThis pet costs $7, we'll just replace him. That's not teaching responsibility, to teach that these animals are disposable."

But maybe you're ready for the family dog or cat. In that case, you need to consider a variety of factors, Dr. Gerson said.

Size is one -- do you want a pet that can knock the child to the floor? Too small isn't good either -- your child will want to pick the dog up, and it can be injured if dropped.

Consider getting a mixed breed from the shelter, which will be cheaper and often healthier than a purebred. Always look at what purpose the animal has been bred for: dogs bred for fighting are not a good choice for a child.

Think about the amount of exercise the animal will need, your ability to find a pet-sitter or kennel for it when you go on vacation, shedding problems, and training.

Of course, pets also have benefits. They give unconditional love, which could raise a child's self-esteem -- although that's just speculation, Dr. Entin said. They teach a sense of sharing -- the pet belongs to everyone -- and responsibility. "They realize they're not the only ones whose needs have to be met," he said.

Pets also come with an inherent drawback, no matter what the type. Eventually, they die. A dog or cat may last up to 15 years, a small pet perhaps just a few.

But that can be a valuable lesson, Dr. Entin said. "It's important to teach kids about life, and loss, and death, and all that, so I wouldn't be against it for that reason."

And in the time in between, it gives the child a playmate. But that's something parents need to think about as well, Ms. Peterson said.

"When I was young, I remember I just yearned for a dog that would be my best friend and buddy," she recalled. "That's a big responsibility to put on a pet."

If that is the reason the child is asking for a pet, think carefully about what's happening, Ms. Peterson said.

"A pet may fill some of that need, but parents need to look at how they themselves are filling those needs," she said. "A pet is just icing on the cake."

*Article courtesy of VetCentric.com
Originally published April 26, 2007
Written by: Tracy Vogel, Staff Writer
For more information on this article, please visit http://www.vetcentric.com