Tales of Confused Pet Owners
A little education about your pet's anatomy might
save you from a serious panic attack.

Sometimes, just a little bit of knowledge about an animal's normal anatomy is enough to turn a concerned owner into a relieved one. As a veterinarian, I've spent many an appointment explaining the "birds and the bees" to frantic clients that were under the mistaken impression that their perfectly normal pets were deathly ill.

Here are a few of the more amusing panic attacks that I was able to put to rest.

How to "fix" a broken back

I'll never forget this client: "Mr. Muddled" came in very distressed because he thought that his young female cat's back was broken. During the history, he revealed that the kitty often rolled on the ground and crouched down with her rear in the air, yowling in pain.

The cat seemed pretty happy to me, so I did some investigating to see what the problem might be. I noticed that when I touched her on one side of her rump, her tail quickly switched to the opposite side. When I repeated this on the other side, her tail switched back. All during the exam, she purred and kept treading from side to side with her back feet.

This wasn't a tough diagnosis: Mr. Muddled's cat, which was unspayed, was exhibiting the normal behavior of a cat in heat. Wisely, after he learned that his cat was not, in fact, at death's door, Mr. Muddled made an appointment to have her fixed.

The case of two tumors

Mrs. Oblivia Uss was petrified that her male cat's days were numbered: she had discovered tumors or some kind of skin growth on his tummy. In the exam room, we rolled the cat over to get a better look. I asked Mrs. Uss to identify the tumors, and she pointed to two evenly spaced skin protrusions that are surrounded by a hairless circular area. They were found on both sides of the cat ... they were the patient's nipples!

Mrs. Uss seemed very perplexed by this; "But he's a BOY!" she cried. At this point, I reminded her that human males also have nipples. She concurred, and left the office abashed but relieved. I was relieved, too -- I'll take a nipple over a tumor any day of the week!

Big cats don't cry

Ms. Tablescraps brought her chubby cat to the hospital, worried that the animal had several lumps or tumors on its back. Upon closer inspection, I was able to allay her fears -- those weren't lumps -- they were clumps! The cat had large mats of fur on its posterior.

Ms. Tablescraps isn't the only owner of an overweight cat to worry about tumors. In fact, it's common for these mats to form on cats with a weight problem. Because of their bigger size, overweight cats have difficulty grooming their backs, and the ungroomed hair ends up getting tangled.

The short-term cure for this "cancer" is simple but not so pretty. A pair of clippers is required and the result is a cat that looks like a monk. Warning: these mats are very close to the skin and cannot be addressed without clippers. If you try to use a scissors to remove these mats, you will likely end up at the veterinary hospital.

The long-term cure, of course, is a good nutritional plan. Ms. Tablescraps needs to learn to keep her tuna fish sandwich on her plate, and far away from kitty's bowl.

Definitely not cancer!

Ok, this one is a little sensitive. One of my younger clients, a sweet lad we'll call Charlie Clueless, brought in his male dog because earlier that morning, he had discovered a swelling around the genitals -- he was worried it was cancer. Once he came in for his appointment, however, all evidence of this "cancer" was gone.

As gently as I could, I explained that the cause of the swelling had been, well ... .stammering, I was finally able to articulate, "Let's just say Sparky was not in need of Viagra."

That's right, male dogs, neutered or not, can get erections. Dogs have a structure called the "bulbis glandis" that manifests as a rounded firm area that ranges in size from about a small walnut to a tennis ball. This erectile tissue structure is what is responsible for the "tie" when dogs breed. (This is the reason that after breeding dogs are "stuck" together.) Poor Charlie blushed and blushed, but like Mrs. Oblivia Uss, he left the hospital relieved.

Aye, there's the rib

Connie Fuzt was puzzled: she had identified a hard lump at the edge of the ribcage that seems to protrude one moment and then disappear the next, depending on what position her dog was sitting in. She didn't know what was going on: cancer? A broken bone? An enormous intestinal parasite?

I was happy to explain to Connie that what she was feeling was just the end of the 13 th or "floating" rib. Dogs have 13 pairs of ribs. The first nine pairs connect down on the sternum, ribs 10-12 are connected via cartilage, which make up the costal arch, and the 13 th rib is not connected at the bottom. As a result, this structure will sometimes stick out at funny angles.

BIG DISCLAIMER

The moral of these stories is NOT that you shouldn't go to the vet whenever you suspect that your pet is having a medical or behavioral problem. Rather, you should educate yourself thoroughly about a healthy animal's anatomy so that you can save yourself from some serious worrying.

Article courtesy of VetCentric.com
Originally published September 14, 2006
Written by: Elizabeth L. DeLomba, DVM
For more information on this article, please visit http://www.vetcentric.com